Saturday, August 25, 2012
I know I haven't updated in a while and I promise to do a big update later this evening or tomorrow. I quickly wanted to write about something while it is still in my mind. You would think that as I begin to lose weight (not the amount I would like to have lost, but I have lost some) I would start to feel better about myself. This has not been the case. I don't know if it is the fact that I am constantly thinking about my weight, but I have been feeling so self conscious to the point that I don't want to go out in public. This afternoon my sister and I were supposed to go out shopping so she can get some clothes for teaching (she recently got on our school board's supply list), but I had a bit of a mental break down over the fact that I felt too fat and was embarrassed for others to see me. There have been a few times in the past where I have had my moments of being self conscious but honestly never like this. I hope this feeling goes away soon but I'm honestly not sure it will. It's hard thinking about your weight constantly. Worrying about not losing enough, or your clothes being too sloppy or too tight. I definitely thought I would have some emotional breakdowns, but not about this.