Pre-Op Diet Day #3: Updates

I am on day number three of my pre-op diet, and things are so-so. In terms of the diet itself, I am getting better at drinking the shakes (this morning I finished mine in 20 minutes), and don't find that I am as hungry as I was the first day. I haven't been eating as many vegetables as I should be, but I did have a 'salad' (lettuce and some mushrooms with a tiny bit of balsamic vinegar) for lunch. My parents bought some popsicle molds today, so we are going to try and make some shake popsicles so I can have those, instead of my shake, for dinner.  


As for how I am feeling physically, I'm not doing so well. I don't know if it has to do with the diet, or it is just a coincidence, but my fibromyalgia has flared up and I am in quite a lot of pain. This, combined with a constant feeling of being bloated (a side effect of the protein shakes from what I have read), has left me in bed the majority of the day while some of my family enjoys the nice whether out on our boat. 


This morning my mom decided to show her support by taking on my shake and vegetable diet for the day, but she wasn't feeling it. Her breakfast shake (she chose vanilla, which was not good) made her feel sick to her stomach, and the salad at lunch just wasn't enough. She finally gave up around 3:30pm this afternoon and decided to have an egg. 


While I am not as hungry as I thought I would be, I am still having some cravings. Last night I had a dream I was eating sour patch kids and cherry bombs, and when I woke up this morning had a moment of panic, thinking I had broken the diet.  Other than the candy dream, I am actually craving fairly healthy things including blueberries, yogurt, oatmeal and goat cheese (random, I know). 


I started reading a lot of lap band blogs today, and have to admit they really scared me. The surgeon I met with originally made everything sound so easy and straight cut, but it doesn't seem that is the case. According to my surgeon, I will be able to eat anything but in smaller amounts. However, from what I have heard (from both bloggers and people who work with the surgeon), there are a lot of items I won't be able to eat. Each person is different (some can tolerate pasta, some can't), and it's really all about trial and error. That is the part that really scares me because I know I will be afraid to try food as the idea of throwing up or feeling like I am choking is terrifying. 


The surgeon also made it sound like I might have slight discomfort the day of surgery, but should feel normal by the next day. From what I have read, this is not true for most people. A lot of people talked about being in the worst pain ever, and had to be dosed up on fairly heavy pain medications. This really worries me for two reasons. First, I already deal with a lot of pain on a regular basis, and because of my fibromyalgia, I have a lower pain threshold than most (people with fibro apparently feel pain 10x more than people without fibro). Second,  I can't take a lot of pain medications because they make me sick (vomiting need to be kept at a minimum so the band doesn't slip out of place the first few days.)


As for all of the other pre-op rules, I am doing okay.  I haven't shaved my armpits or legs for the past couple of days, and am feeling like a hippie child. I am allowed to swim in the lake (no pools or hot tubs), but haven't had a chance to do so yet. As for tanning, I haven't been outside in the sun very much, and will be sure to wear a lot of sunblock if I do. 


My emotions are all over the place. I have moments where I am completely fine and think 'I can so do this!' and moments where I feel like I can't breathe and think 'What the hell have I gotten myself into?'. While I do have a lot of great support around me, I am worried about how quickly that will fade. When I diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I had a lot of friends who said they were 'there for me', and yet after a couple of months with no improvement, they started to get sick and tired of me constantly not feeling well. I worry that because this will be a process I have to handle for the rest of my life, some of the people in my life will get sick of me having to eat differently, possibly getting sick, having to have my band re-adjusted (you need to be on another liquid diet for this), etc. I do realize that those who aren't supportive aren't worth my time, and those who are closest to me will support me, but it's still not something I look forward to going through again. 


This is, without a doubt, going to be a more difficult journey than I originally thought, but I just try to keep thinking about how I will look and feel once I start losing the weight. 


xx
Alicia